The One True Religion

Muslims have the One True Religion. How do we know? Some of them have told us, and continue to tell us, in word and in deed (mostly deed). This is a great blessing for the world, because it means we can all stop looking for the One True Religion. More importantly, we can all stop wasting time believing in any of the others.

For thousands of years the Jews thought they had the One True Religion. (Some believe it still, but the Muslims will correct that error in due time; they're working on it now.)

When the Christians came along they were quite sure they had it; and just to finalize the matter, they invented Hell, and told the Jews that they were welcome to go there, and good riddance. Such was their confidence that they had invented the One True Religion.

And such has been the confidence of every other religion. There have been a million or so of them cobbled together, used for a time, and discarded once another one came along that showed more promise. Some of them last only a little while; some last for thousands of years. There are at least 10,000 religions in the world today, flickering in and out of existence. And no one has ever been able to prove that any one of them is not the True One.

Every single religion comes equipped with the sublime and inerrant Word of God. It is not just the Word, but the final Word, the real thing, and an absolutely genuine article. Timeless and unchanging, the Word is carved into the lofty stone faces of mighty mountains. It is written in the stars. It is unerring and everlasting, the great and inarguable Word of the Supreme Creator. Not a single letter is out of place. It is perfect from start to finish. It is infallible. Every version of it is infallible.

Consider, for example, the Old Testament verse that talks about "...the hare, because he cheweth the cud, but divideth not the hoof..." Foolish people will make the mistake of believing that it is a misprint of some kind. But nothing could be farther from the truth; there are no misprints in holy books. It is our problem if we happen to be unfamiliar with cud-chewing, hoofed bunny rabbits, like the ones they must have had back in Old Testament times.

Everyone waits for the final, revealed Word of God - waits patiently. Some groups wait centuries; some wait millennia. Some don't even know they were waiting; when it is revealed to them it's a surprise - they thought they already had it and the matter was settled previously. Fortunately for them, the recipients of the current eternal Word of God always stand ready to set them straight.

Thus, the Word of God is always eternal - for a while. Each iteration of the final and everlasting Word of God cancels out all the others, no matter how long the previous ones have been in business. And each is exactly as final and as unquestionable as the ones that came before - not to be doubted, not to be trifled with.

Some religions pass along the New Eternal Truth in a casual way, by word of mouth. But all the long-lasting, big-time religions come standard with their own manual; and contained within each manual is the specially revealed Word of God - revealed at last and exclusively to a particular group of people, with the instruction that they spread the news.

And spread it they do, with dogged and steadfast diligence.

Every religion has in common the certainty, among its admirers, that it, at last, is the One True Religion, and that the ones that came before it were merely vile and evil pretenses. And most religions also have in common the conviction that the rest of the world needs to join the One True Religion, and be quick about it.

For it angers people to the point of homicide that there are others in the world who carelessly go on believing their own brand of religion while the One True Religion is finally available.

Anyone who doubts the arrival of the One True Religion needs to be persuaded, and the persuasion can take many forms. Sometimes it is something mild, like shunning (tame as shunning may be, some people can't bear it for long). Sometimes it is relatively severe, like slaughtering every man, woman, child and farm animal on this side of the horizon. But no matter the details, the intention is the same. The point to be made is that the One True Religion is here, and the matter is settled.

Most religions regard themselves as 'inclusive.' Indeed, most are inclusive to a fault - a bloody fault. They insist that everyone join: not just people who foolishly cling to their old religions, despite the new evidence; but also people who don't have a religion at all, and therefore might be regarded as members of a non-competing group. Indeed, those with no religion tend to anger the believers of the each successive One True Religion most of all.

Lately some Muslims have begun crowding the edges of our consciousness to tell us that the search for the One True Religion is over, and they have the manual to prove it. They’ve had the religion and the manual for a while, but just recently have begun to get our attention in some very spectacular ways.

And we really have no good reason to believe they are not in possession of the real One True Religion, at last. Who are we to argue, we wretched believers in other things - or no things? They have much on their side of the case. Ardor, conviction, devotion and fervor mark their attitude toward the whole business. And enthusiasm. Great howling storms of enthusiasm.

Islam is no casual sort of religion that you pick up on one day of the week and set aside the other six. It is a comprehensive enterprise, with a million and one rules already, and more being discovered every day. There is not a scant detail of life that has escaped notice in the manual and its accompanying rulebooks, and no measure that can’t be enforced upon the whole crowd of us through tireless and ruthless vigilance.

Some measures may seem a bit harsh to some of us at first - like those regarding how to punish assorted miscreants (thieves, adulterers, unbelievers, murderers, women in colorful clothes, and so on). But there is nothing that human beings cannot learn to accept as commonplace, given time; and no amount of blood is too much to spill in the service of the One True Religion.

It is no small thing that some of the more animated devotees of the Muslim faith are willing to share their way of life with us - share it relentlessly, forcefully, unflinchingly. They know that theirs is a superior way to live; they know it not by evidence, but by feeling, by conviction. And they are so thoroughly interested in our welfare that they mean for us to know it, too.